Limentum

Someone Else Will See It For Yourself

In my dreams I’m on a porch with you. I promise you I’ve been doing well in your name. And I won’t try to speak with you again. Until I watch my last breath dissipate

Who said that?

It sounded distant, but I could almost tell it was meant for me. I shut the door as fast as I can manage, locking it behind me. Turning around, I glance further into the cabin.

“Shaela? You here?” I lightly shouted, hoping she would just be in her room or something. No response.

I moved to the backdoor, looking out the window to see if she was waiting in the backyard. The trees and bushes are noticeably rustling from the wind. The door to the generator seemed to be open. I had absolutely zero interest in checking that out, let alone going outside. I reach for my pocket to grab my phone so I can call Shae, only to find out it isn’t there.

Shit, right, I left it with Liam.

I open the backdoor a crack, sticking my body half out the door, “Shaela! Where the fuck did you go?”

The eerie silence of the wind is all that returned, leaving me spooked, to say the least. I close the back door, choosing to head back out front. As much as I wanted to hide inside the cabin for the rest of this bullshit, I couldn’t just leave Shae and Liam out there. I stepped outside, closing the front door behind me as softly as I could manage. As the door shuts, I feel an unnerving amount of pressure building up in my ears and softening the sounds around me. I step down the creaky wooden steps, heading back down the driveway.

“I swear to god Shae if this is you just trying to scare me…” I huff, looking through the nearby trees, “…It’s fucking working. Now cut the shit!” I know that situation is unlikely, but it’s definitely the preferred outcome out of all the scenarios my anxiety-ridden brain is currently playing out.

Maybe she called Liam again and met him at the lake because I was taking too long? I would’ve heard her on my way up to the cabin if that were true, though. Any reasoning at this point is useless anyway. It’s easiest for me to just head back to Liam, then I could at least use my phone to call Shae and see where the hell she went.

The fog seems to be a bit clearer near the highway, which instills at least a minor amount of confidence in me. I cross the asphalt road as fast as I can, trying to hear for any cars that might come barrelling down the limited-visibility highway. I start walking down the trail towards the lake, each step filled with the determination to get the fuck out of this forest, and at least back with Liam. My ears twitch at every minor sound that fills the nearby area, the whistling of the wind, the rustling of the flora, the skittering of the local wildlife. I can’t help but feel watched, despite the minimal evidence I have backing up that fear. Well, with the exception of whoever was talking to me a few minutes ago.

Did I really just skip over that major detail? Someone was talking to me, but I didn’t see anybody around. Am I going insane? It could have just been the wind, the voice lacked the substance of someone actually talking. The problem with that, though, is that the wind doesn’t typically sound out actual fucking words. Whatever, any of these ideas are just my anxious thought-process trying to make sense of the information it’s been taking in.

When I reach the clearing by the lake, I can barely see out into the water. It was typical for it to get foggy by the lake during the spring or fall, because the warming temperatures didn’t collide well with the cold air and freezing lake, although rarely to this extent. That doesn’t matter now though, the important detail that hadn’t registered in my mind yet is that Liam is nowhere to be found. The blanket, along with the rest of the stuff I brought is still lying exactly where I left it. I look around the clearing.

“Liam?” I shouted, hoping he was close by.

Someone has to be fucking with me at this point. Did he go up to the cabin? Maybe he saw the fog and decided to head back? Obviously not, cause I would’ve at least heard him! I try not to expect the worst, but it feels almost impossible not to at this point.

The jarring sound of my ringtone brings me back to reality. The vibrations of the phone are quieted by the blanket it lays upon. I pick it up, looking to see the Caller ID.

Tyler?

I answer the call, still trying to figure out what’s going on, “What is it?” I said, a noticeable irritation in my voice from the situation.

“why did you wake me?” he replied. His voice sounded husky and irregular, probably having woken up moments ago. It’s late enough in the day for it to be questionable that he’s just getting up for the day. It isn’t exactly out of the ordinary for him, though.

“Wake you? Dude, you called me? Just tell me what you want cause I’m kindaaa busy right now!” I said hurriedly, trying not to come off as rude.

“i wanted so much to be at rest.”

“Then go to back to bed? I don’t see why you had to call for this, dude. Besides, it’s like one in the afternoon? Shouldn’t you be working right now?” I remarked, eager for him to get to the point.

There’s a long pause between us, I didn’t count the time, but it was long enough to be noticeable, and for me to quickly get impatient.

“it’s different now, i think.”

…

“What is? Just- can you stop speaking like you’re reading poetry and say something coherent?” there’s an even longer moment of silence, he doesn’t seem interested in answering my questions. I sigh deeply, sitting down on the blanket that was left behind, my face in my palm. “What’s different now?” I said bluntly.

“somewhere i lost whatever else i had.”

“What, are you writing music now? Testing your lyrics out on me? Very poetic. But this is not the ti-“

“i wasn’t over you.”

That does a pretty good job of shutting me up. I bury my face further into my palm, trying to escape whatever bullshit I’ve gotten myself into as the wind picks up around me.

“…Yeah. I know.” I admit. I could tell whatever explanations he came up with last night were pretty clearly a facade, but for him to admit it like this? None of it seemed real. “Is that why you called? …I’m sorry, Tyler. You’re a great guy, better than you care to admit. B- but I’m happy now. I hope you can get to that point soon, too.”

“there’s so much travel yet.”

I take a moment to process his words, when I hear the sound of leaves crunching distantly behind me. I jerk my head towards the sound of the noise, hoping to see Shae and Liam coming to find me, to no avail. It feels like there’s thousands of eyes on me all at once as I try to ignore my surroundings.

“I- I know.” I say, not really wanting to continue my thought process. “You know, some part of me wishes it went differently… back then.” I can feel the wind getting stronger as I continue.

“who would you be now?”

“…someone better, probably. At least I’d have things figured out,” I sighed. “Everything’s been so uncertain lately, I don’t know what my life’s gonna look like in a few months, let alone when I’m older.”

“someone else will see it for yourself.”

“Wh- what do you mean?”

The wind quickly dies down, and the only sound remaining is the tone coming from the phone, signalling the connection was lost.

What the fuck just happened?

I go back to my phone, dialling Ty’s number once again. The phone rings a few times before he finally answers.

“Howdy! Whaddya need? You kinda caught me at a bad time, it’s pretty busy right now at work.” He replied sincerely, his voice noticeably different from moments ago.

“Oh, uh, sorry! Did you just call me?”

“Call you? Uhh, I don’t think so? Unless I butt-dialed you or something?”

Hmm…

“Some robocaller must’ve spoofed your number or something.” I didn’t have any way to rationally explain the previous events without sounding crazy, so I opted to stay casual, repressing the thoughts back to where they came from. “So, you’re able to come tonight, right?” I said, trying to shift the topic.

“Yeah I should be able to, if they don’t make me stay late again! You need me to bring anything over?” He inquired.

“Uhh, I’ll get back to you about that in a bit. I am currently at the lake near the cabin and have no clue where Shae and Liam are.” I exclaimed in a sarcastically perky voice.

“…What?”

“I- It’s probably fine. They’re adults, they’re probably fine. I’m just paranoid.” I said, lightly laughing to lighten the mood.

“Oh, well, let me know if you find ‘em! I’ll try to keep my phone on me,” he assured.

“Yeah, will do!” My eyes widen, and I let out a sigh, “God, I’m just bothering you at this point. I give you permission to go back to work now!” I joked.

No, you’re good! I like talking to you.” He said, I could almost hear the smile in his voice.

I laughed a tired laugh, “Yeah. You too.” A moment passed as neither of us spoke up, “Well, I should probably at least try calling them.”

“You haven’t tried calling them yet??? Remind me to never let you lead the search party if I go missing,” He joked.

“Yeah, like I’d even be considered for leading any search party,” I remarked sarcastically. The both of us laughed. “I’ll let ya know if we need anything, I should get going.”

“Sounds good!”

We said our goodbyes and I hung up, my mind returning to focus on the lake. I gathered the blanket and anything else Liam left behind and started walking back up the trail. The wind had reduced to subtlety at this point, but the fog was still in full force. I said to Ty that I would call them, but I needed a few more minutes of uncertainty. Any of the fears that occupied my mind earlier were long dissipated as I thought over some problematic dilemmas.

If Ty didn’t call me, then who was I talking to?

It sounded just like him, minus the usual substance of his low-toned voice. And unless he was lying to me when he said he didn’t call me the first time, then maybe I’m just losing whatever remnants of sanity that I had before today.

Honestly, what’s even the point of me rationalizing this? What would I even tell people? That I heard a voice talking to me, but no one was there? That Liam and Shae essentially vanished off the face of the Earth? That I got a phone call by the water from my ex, speaking incoherent poetry, admitting that he wasn’t over me?

I cross the highway.

Yeah, there’s no combination of words in any language that I could piece together to explain that without losing the respect of everyone around me. I’m sure I could at least get an explanation from Liam and Shae about wherever they ran off to.

I step up the stairs onto the front patio of the cabin.

Whatever, this is just some anomalous twenty minutes of my life that I’ll probably forget in a week or two. The simplest solution is to just move on, there’s a lot of time left on this trip for me to not have to deal with shit.

I try the door knob, finding it unlocked. The door creaks as I open it, peering inside.

“Fucking hell, where were you?!?”